This is a really hard blog post to write. Mostly because I know that I am not alone in this feeling but also because I think that a lot of women don’t talk about it openly because we have a friend or family member that does this and we are just trying to keep things “nice.”
I am constantly bombarded with messages from other women who tell me that they can fix my weight, help me lose weight, help motivate me, help me with my nutrition and make me accountable to a better healthy lifestyle. Has this happened to you? It seems like it always happens when I am feeling really good about myself.
I want to change this conversation, it is not okay for someone to message me about my weight, size or fitness. It is not okay for someone to message to tell me that they can help me lose weight. In most cases whoever is messaging me- I have never met, a complete stranger on the internet. What is alarming is that they don’t even look at my feed…notice that I am a runner or maybe that doesn’t even matter…maybe they think I need to lose weight.
One of the things that makes this really hard is that we are constantly seeing images of what is socially ideal. It is thrust upon us in advertisements, books, movies, EVERYTHING. Where the conversation needs to change is amongst each other first.
If we really what to change what is beautiful we need to see women at all stages of life thriving. Thriving regardless of size, shape, speed, etc.
Here is how I am going to start:
- Set clear boundaries with others in commenting, conversations about my weight, size, appearance or nutrition.
- Stop comparing myself to others.
- Starting celebrating my accomplishments big and small
- Stop putting resources into keeping an “image” and putting that energy in what I can be and what goals I am pursuing.
- Stop using photoshop and filters *See the real me, all the time!
- Support your fellow sisters, brothers, humans. Give a shout out, message someone or give a comment on someone’s photos that is positive and not about the person’s appearance, weight or size.
- Self talk with myself that I am enough, I am fit, I am beautiful and I am strong.
Stop measuring yourself with the wrong measure. You have the control of how you measure your self worth.
This is a struggle. But I want to forge a different path in moving ahead for myself, for others behind me, an example for my kids. I will make mistakes but making a conscious effort is where I can start.
My body has accomplished some really amazing things. It has held three babies, birthed two, hugged those who were hurting and cheered on countless others in times of joy. My body knows hurt, pain and sadness but it also knows happiness, joy and fulfillment. It has carried me countless miles and the weight fluctuates with each accomplishment, disappointment and the moments in-between. Sound familiar? I am positive your body has a similar story.
Every mark or pound has a meaning and our bodies tell a story and stories are beautiful.Lisa Braden, @lb_the_rd
Do you connect with this? Do you have a friend who shares these thoughts? Leave a comment or share this post. Let’s work together on stopping the messaging about weight loss.
Also see my post about Overcoming Comparisons